by Ron Osterberg
Waiting in line at Dunkin Donuts, I tried to remember the Spanish word for discount. Was it descuente or descuento? When my turn came to pay, I said, “Descuento por viejo por favor.” The clerks couldn’t suppress their giggle. I botched it. I asked for an old discount instead of senior discount, but I get the discount word right.
Gently, they told me that viejo was not a nice thing to say about someone, especially oneself – or about a discount. That reminded me that as kids when someone asked, “How ya doin?” Or, “Que pasa?” We replied, “Estoy bien, viejo conejo.” I’m fine you old coot. The clerks suggested that I say mayor, a more dignified word.
The next time I said, “Descuento para mayor por favor” and the lady smiled. She liked being part of a game. Several visits later one the clerks suggested “viejito” or “cute older man.”
A few visits later I mentioned that I was a grandfather, “Soy un abuelo.” So, I asked, “Descuento para abuelo por favor?” The lady behind the counter replied that she is an abuela or grandmother. She didn’t look old enough to be a grandmother. On the other hand, anyone under 50 looks young, especially if their skin is tan without many wrinkles.
They suggested I say, “Descuento para abuelito” and I said, “Senorita, descuento para abuelito por favor.” She blushed slightly saying gracias.
The entire exchange took less than a minute, but each time it reminded me of a lost adventure. Before going to UCLA, I wanted to go to college in Mexico City for a year. I would have returned speaking fluent Spanish with a Mexican dialect. I still don’t know why I didn’t do it. I wish I knew that we grade our youthful choices carefully when we are viejitos.
